God Bless today. As I turned the corner onto Lindon Avenue, Steve and Betty's home came into view. Betty was standing outside in her jammies and as I scanned her face I saw the tears and the pain come into focus. I held up my hands in question and she had one hand covering her mouth and the other held out in the air. I jumped out of the car and ran in the house. I threw my jacket and keys towards the couch and rounded the corner making a B line to his room. As I rounded the corner Steve was walking determidly towards the door facing me. He had wrapped in this thin arms his sheets, pads and two pillows. I asked "where are you going?" "I am going to the washer." he was out of breath and seemed like a fall risk too I began leaning him towards the couch arm by the door. Wait here and let me get your cane. He said okay and thrust the soiled laundry in my arms and told me "take these." I told him to wait and I ran the dirty laundry in and Betty opened a garbage bag to put them in. I grabbed a clorox cleanup sheet and began wiping my hands and arms as I briskly walked back through the dining room. I found him trying to climb the stair by himself and I asked "I help you up this stair?" but really I was grabbing his hands to the elbow to pull him up. He was agitated. My heart was pounding and my mind was racing. He was determined to get into that kitchen and I wasn't going to argue with him. His clothes were wet but I thought to get him calmed down I would walk him over and sit him in his chair and handed him a cigarette. He put it in his mouth and I held the yellow bic to light it. I set the lighter on the lacy tablecloth and asked him if he wanted coffee as if it were any other day. He said he did and I made myself busy fixing him his last cup in his clear glass Starbucks mug. He was shaking but that determined look was still on his face as if to say "I can hold myself up. I am a Man." as he took it from from me and I worried he was going to spill it on him. "It's hot" I remind him. I told him he was shaky because his sugar was low and that I thought he needed to have a protein shake. I lied, because I knew better and it had nothing to do with sugar. I think God will forgive me that lie because I didn't want to alarm him. I asked him what flavor of ice cream he wanted and he wanted Chocolate. I poured the remainder of the strawberries we had and began to put a whole banana into the blender. Grandma had returned to the kitchen and was sitting in the chair across from Steve. She was watching me and reminded me he only liked half a banana so I popped half into my mouth. I added blueberries, black berries, raspberries with chocolate ice cream. I blended them together and poured a tall glass for Steve. I told him he would feel better soon. He set his cigarette in the ashtray. I told him to enjoy it because Jenifer was coming to give him a shower. Showers wore him out and I could see he was already exhausted and laboring for breath. He did seem to calm as he drank his shake.
I had heard the doorbell while fixing the shake. Grandma had gone to answer it and I heard Jenifer's voice. She had showed up with her supervisor who was there to evaluate her performance for her yearly review. Grandma and Betty had been talking to them and I left Steve smoking to join them. Jen introduced us and she went to Steves side.
She bantered back and forth him and told him she would help him to the shower to get him cleaned up. Betty had gathered up the clean shorts and shirt for him, a clean towel, washcloth and Depends and waited as Jen helped him though small walkway between the dryer and freezer that led to the bathroom. He used whatever was available to hold himself as he went. They successfully made it through the doorway and sat him on his shower chair. They swung the door halfway closed and began his shower.
While Steve was occupied, the four women gathered and began to disucuss at length the challenges we each saw, heads bobbing up and down in agreement. We asked if they could bring us a four footed cane to assist him. It was obvious he was weakening. She agreed and began taking notes. As the conversation continued and the list grew longer, the gravity of the situation washed over us like a tital wave. It became more and more apparent that we felt he needed professionals. The supervisor began dialing her phone leaving messages for the case manager and the nurse. She told us they would return the call and while we waited, she returned to her observations of Jen. Betty excused herself for a quick shower to prepare herself for the day.
I heard them opening the door leading to the bathroom. Again they were stopped in the space between the dryer and the furance. I walked towards them to offer what assistance I could. Steve was saying "I need to sit down on the garbage" The nurse inquired if it would hold him and I pulled it out for him and assured her it would. It was a nice stainless steel one. We sat him there and told him it was fine for him to catch his breath. So he rested there for just a couple of minutes, I holding him up his hands in mine. "Can you make it the last eight feet Steve?" He nodded his head and we got on each side of him to assist him to his chair. Every smoker knows that smoking relaxes you. Using that knowledge, I handed him another cigarette and he put it into his mouth and I lit his cigarette to calm him. I noticed the paper before the tobacco on his cigarette had gone out before without actually lighting (you smokers would know what I was talking about). But, I didn't want to relight it because I didn't want him to burn himself. He didn't notice and "smoked" his cigarette in gesture and I just let him believe. The nurses joined us and we began to talk about his care. We agreed he should go to the incare facility. He complained he was in pain and we gave him a dose of morphine to ease the edge. We wondered when they would call back. The four women weighing the options. Finally, the phone rang and it was the facility. We couldn't help to hear the conversation and knew they were telling my Grandma that he didn't meet the criteria. The supervisor held her hand out to receive the receiver in the "give that to me" gesture. She insisted that Steve was going and worked out all the details. They would be here in an hour. As the nurses were leaving Betty came in the other room fresh from her shower. She and Grandma was walked them to the door thanking them for their visit. Their conversation ended and they shut and bolted the security door.
We small talked with and around him. He injected himself into the conversation, but, his words and thoughts were disjointed as he rocked back and forth his body curling into the fetal position. I rubbed his back slowly willing my energy through my hand and encouraged him to sit up to get a bigger breath into his lungs praying for lucidity. The more interesting conversation was flashing in the womens eyes as took big breaths into our lungs looking at each other communicating at that deep level. Wow. Where are we? His body was with us, but, clearly the infection was taking over his mind. As were talking quietly, the doorbell rang again. Betty went to the security door and I heard a male voice. Betty started turning the bolt locks and reached out the door and took the piece of paper being offered to her. God Bless you she said as she relocked the door and the man walked away past the window the way that he came. She handed me the pamphlet and I read "You Can Know You Are Going to Heaven" God is talking clearly again.
Hello! hello? a deep male voice was heard and I walked towards the dog to see a well dressed black man and recognized the Palms Mortuary was standing at the door and Steves dogs, Natasha and Maxine, came quickly to smell him as I let him in the house. I introduced my Grandmother a I left them to discuss their business and went to talk to Steve.
Natasha and Maxine came and nuzzled his hand and layed their heads in his lap and listened to their Master say their names and rub them behind their ears. Again, I heard the door shut as Tim the mortician left. She had a pamphlet he had left her placed on the coffee table. She returned to the kitchen to her spot next to her son.
No comments:
Post a Comment