Vistor at the Wedding

 My baby,  my first born son is getting married today.  I have so many hopes and dreams for him to enjoy.  This is my most favorite picture of us. I cry every time I see it.   I just want to know that they are happy and they have "Happily Ever After" in their future.  Will she love him as I have loved him? Do they understand the depth of the love that a mother has for her child?  Does she know to take good care of my baby?  Tears are streaming down my face as I write this.  Does she "hear" him when he mentions things in passing and file them in her memory's list of "things to do."  Does she think like me?  This is my beloved.  The answer from God to MY prayers.  My God Given Gift.  I believe she does.  Look at these pictures.  There is adoration on their faces.  The tears are of Relief and Gratitude...

So, I prayed that Steve would make it to the wedding.  We all know he didn't.  It was a beautiful sunny July morning.  My son, so handsome all dressed up.  We all worked hard on our part of the wedding festivities planning and executing what we hope will make it a memorable day.  Our dearest family and friends showed up for us, in tribute to our years together or the connection that we have.  It turned out so wonderfully.  Mataja and Mindy and their family did a bang up job on their yard.  My cute Grandma was there.  Look at us!


As the day began to unfold, I began with myself.  I got up, I got a cup of coffee.  I got myself ready first.  Because I knew that if I didn't take this opportunity, I would get busy and end up feeling rushed and evil.  As the twenty people that slept over began to wake, time began to slip in 15 minute increments.  Building into a frantic pace with pressure to get out the door and  "pull it off" because, after all, it is all about presentation :)   As me and two sons were walking to the car with the two crystal vases I borrowed from my mother, and the two I had made for the head table, I saw my new neighbor out in his yard.  I thought about saying Hello but knew I didn't have time for any conversation.  I was thinking that I would wave as I sat down in the car to be friendly.  I was putting something in the trunk when I heard the unmistakable sound of glass breaking against the concrete.  My mothers crystal flashed through my mind.  I slammed the truck and just lost it (I am embarrassed to say) lost it completely.  Alexander James Maughan!  Fuck!  Just Fuck!  Thinking he had dropped it.  I came around the car to see water and blue glass marbles and glass all over the ground.    He was looking at me with the deer caught in the headlights look holding one vase and one set of flowers by the neck of the vase that had broken.  The whole bottom had broken out.   "Fuck!  Get in the fucking car" I screamed.  I mentally noted they were the glass vases for the head table and thanked God for the luck.   Both boys were trying to get into the car quickly but the flowers and vases they was carrying  were too tall.  They didn't want to witness me lose control like that and was trying so hard. Everyone rushed to Alex's defense that the bottom had broken. Once we were backing out of the driveway, I thought "welcome to the neighborhood!"  That was a embarrassing public display!  We got going down the road and I reached up and moved the rear view mirror to see his face.  I could see his eyes were red and he was upset.  I apologized.  It was not his fault that the bottom broke out like that.  The neck was intact.  I reached into my center console and pulled out my prescription of Xanax.  I obviously needed it. Mental note to drink champagne when I got there to "kick" it in. As I drive, I notice that out of all the signs we put up the night before, I only see two?  I made a dozen.  'Text your brother and ask him how many signs he put up" I told Alex.  I get on the phone with my brother and tell him to pick up more balloons and poster board and to go behind and put up more signs.  Our original venue had been flooded out and we had to change 48 hours ago.  I knew we needed and extraordinary amount of signs to lead the people from one venue to the other.  He and his son were in their street clothes to do this.  But, they had left their nice clothes back at my house. 

There are so many details, the flowers, the decorations, the tables, the griddles and the fruit and FOOD.   It was quickly apparent that there wasn't enough hands to get it all done and some people didn't show that were supposed to.  So, my friends showed up early and they jumped in and it took an all hands on deck approach (under my sisters direction) to be prepared.  I couldn't have done it without them.  I was being told to "Go get on my dress.  Go get ready."  At twenty minutes to ten, we went to the ceremony.  My son comes out to meet us. His smile is so big.  He has this child like excitement and this sparkle in his eyes.  I am excited for him.  People are arriving and I kept looking around for the people I knew were helping on my end.  I told Aaron we were trying to get up more signs and that people weren't there that had said they would be. It became clear that we couldn't wait any longer.  The ceremony began without some "would be witnesses.  I was sad about that.  They missed it because they were helping my son.  I thanked them in a small prayer asking God to bless them for doing it for me (and missing the main event) so I could see this moment in my sons life.


After the short commitment and ring ceremony, we posed for pictures and people gravitated to the park for the Wedding Brunch.

 

 I don't think anything could have gone better.  There is nothing like good old fashioned hospitality.  It was great.  We spent the few hours just hanging out and bullshitting.  It was a good day.  Slowly, they started drifting off until we were almost alone.  We cleaned up the park and took down the decorations, and packed everything back into the trailer to go home.  We got one load finished when my phone rang and my oldest friend had arrived from the south.  I told her I would come right back.  We still had the camp trailer to pick up.  I asked Jeff if he would drop me off at the outdoor reception while he went back to my house dropped the trailer and picked up the kids.  He did.  It was nice visiting.  My brother pulls up with his window down,  you could hear the official speaking from the National Weather Service with an imminent warning. "Winds in excess of 45 miles per hour with nickle sized hail with dangerous ground to air lighting moving towards the south end of the valley.  Take shelter in a sturdy structure."  <sigh>  What could we do? Nothing.  The show must go on regardless.  As the winds of change blew in, the clouds were building.  Lighting flashed and you could count "one thousand one" before you heard the thunder that shook the ground.  I was talking with my husbands Grandmother when I looked over her shoulder to see the wind was going to knock over the pictures that were on easels being used to help decorate the yard.  "Excuse me" I said cutting off his uncles story as I jumped up to save the pictures.  My friend and fellow photographer, Luwana took this picture of one of the decorations as the micro burst hit.

 The skies opened up with a clap of thunder and it poured and it rained hard.  In Native beliefs, there is mother earth and grandfather sky.  He touches her with his lightning bolts only on the parts of her body where it needs to be.  They are Natures equivalent of the Lovers.  Fitting wouldn't you say?  People were scattering and I was grabbing the pictures.  One had fallen and hit the cake.  I went in side to wipe the frame down and leave them out of the weather.  When I finished, I went outside to look for Grandma.  There was sheets of rain and I walked outside to find her.  Grandma has cancer and she is old and fragile.  I wanted to make sure that she was under cover and I wanted to seat her in the house.  She had vanished.  I walked up and down the street, straining in vain to see inside cars to see if she made it into one and was leaving.  I didn't get to say goodbye.  It wasn't my house and Jeff had dropped me off so I didn't even have my car.  I had no umbrella.  The rain didn't matter as much as Grandma.  I asked my son, "have you seen her?"  No.  I had to assume she left.  As mentioned, she is old and doesn't own a cell phone.  I would simply have to wait and see.  Then I hear "Grandma is here" and I look over to see my grandma.  We talked under the awning.  I was already drenched and she was dressed for the weather.  We took some pictures together to mark this now unique occasion.   Afterwards, as I walked her to her car when she felt ready to go,  she grabbed my arm and said "Cindy, I really feel like Steve is here with us."  I considered "do I feel him?"  I couldn't really feel.  "I pray you are right, Grandma.  I really wanted him to be here."  She kissed me and she left.  What was left of the evening sun had come out about an hour into the reception.  We went on to see the kids off on to their honeymoon.  It was a good day with a happy ending.  The next day, I was unloading the pictures and I saw this:

There are two orbs.  One on Aarons forehead and one by Grandma. Her words "I think Steve is here, I can feel his spirit and he would have loved this" echoed in my mind.  I looked at the other pictures because I thought to myself "rain?"  These didn't show in any other of the thirteen successive pictures of this scene.  Hmmmm.  Makes you wonder.  "Is that Steve next to her?"  Who is with Aaron?  Is it the spirit of my father?  It was his birthday today....

The next day, I email this picture to my friend Eric in Las Vegas that was Steve's best friend.  We were texting back and forth.  Wow! Pretty clear. Wonder if?  all the while talking about how much I wanted him there.  Was this just wishful thinking?   Then we began talking about his graveside service in August.  His phone rang and it was and 800 number that he didn't know.  He answered it.  The voice said "This call is for Steven Veatch.   If you are Steven Veatch, press one..."

I felt an electricity run through my body knowing it was a brush with the supernatural.

I think it was an omen.